Confidence Self-esteem Positive Self-Talk

Confident Mindset: Overcoming Negative Self-Talk

By Carol

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What’s the Source of Negative Self-Talk

Self-criticism and negative self-talk are an auditory critique we hear in our heads in response to a particular stimuli. It’s either a result of Freud’s “superego” (the hypercritical part of our psyche which demands perfections) or a parental “interject” (a series of critiques we received from one or both parents when we were young). Which ever was the source that caused our inner voice (or as I like to call it our “inner villain”) to turn against us, the key is to work to quiet it down and change it’s mind.
So how does it work? When women look in mirror they immediately notice over 20 things they don’t like about themselves and the image reflected back at them.  Can you imagine starting each and every day in that space? When we engage in these negative diatribes what we’re really doing is causing what’s known as an “amygdala hijack.” The amygdala is the part of the brain which triggers the fight, flight or freeze response.  Daniel Goleman coined this phrase in his book on Emotional Intelligence back in the 1990s.  When you’re faced with overwhelming, immediate, or out of context information that doesn’t look right our common sense and rational thought go bye-bye and we engage in either fight, flight or freeze.
Because our inner villain appears so convincing and speaks with such authority we believe the voice to be true and final. However, it’s not true. It’s simply a verbalization of a previous voice or our fear and….it can be changed. Although the tips I’m going to share focus on how to start the day in the right way, you can use these tips for any context, situation, or time of day you need them.

Overcoming Your Inner Villain

1. Replace the Negative with the Positive: It’s important to engage in daily and constant acts of self-love that will improve your self-image and self-worth. Create daily affirmations that you focus on each and every morning. Get up, look in the mirror, take a deep breath and start speaking positive things to yourself. Start first with positive affirmations about yourself and your body. By incorporating this new behavior in your daily routine you’ll reassure your brain that there’s no real threat.  You’ll begin to build a new truth, a positive and uplifting truth about who you really are.
2. Get Inspired by Your Surroundings: Surround yourself with beautiful things so it’s the first thing you see when you wake up in the morning.  Change your bedsheets to colors and fabrics you love. Instead of waking up to that annoying beeping sound from your alarm clock, set it to play something uplifting like Joe Crocker’s You Are So Beautiful. Post your positive affirmations on your bathroom mirror to remind yourself to speak the truth of your fabulousness.
3. Fill Your Closet With Things You Love:  Filling your closet with things that represent your authentic style and make you feel amazing will help to retrain your brain. Imagine waking up every morning feeling excited (not frustrated) to go into your closet to grab something amazing to wear. There’s a connection between what you wear and how you feel about yourself. By clothing yourself in fabrics, colors, and patterns you love, you’ll be more likely to feel confident, amazing, and positive about yourself and your life. You can’t stay in a negative space when you feel and look incredibly.

Watch the Video to Learn More

However, hard it may be, it’s absolutely doable to squash the negative self-talk that goes on in your head. Check out my video where I talk you through the process.

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Live, laugh, shine!

Carol 😉

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About The Carol

I'm a 50 years young curvy fashionista enjoying my "second life." I'm a wife, mom of 3 and 1 goldendoodle. I'm a recovering attorney, accidental professor, successful jewelry stylist, and ...