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Why You Can’t Do It All Yourself

By Carol

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Stop DIY-ing

We live in a society where it’s all about doing it all yourself. You may have fallen prey to this idea that you don’t need support, assistance, or guidance. That all you need to is Google it and it that will be enough.
When it comes to doing real work building your confidence,  image or personal brand do you believe “you got this?”  It’s not that easy and I want to share why.

The Danger of DIY-ing

While you may have the best of intentions, when left to your own devices you’ll usually go back to our old ways, the status quo.  Your brain is wired to support you and protect you. In fact the amygdala, a very small part of your brain, is responsible for your survival instincts. It’s like the guards in front of Buckingham Palace, always on guard and ready to protect the Palace at all costs. When your brain senses a threat or for that matter any sense of discomfort, it goes to work to get you out of that situation. To get you to stay in your comfort zone it starts to provide rationalizations and excuses as to why you need to maintain the status quo.
As a confident coach I’ve seen this time and time again with my clients. To strengthen your confidence, define your image, and package your brilliance you need support from people who know what they’re doing and can help. After all, if you were sick wouldn’t you go to a doctor?
The other truth behind most DIY efforts is the vulnerability around asking for help.  The fear of what others’ will think will only serve to cause you more confusion and frustration. It’s like trying to find something in the dark, or reach your destination without directions, or going through life without a coach or mentor.

DIY-ing Your Confidence

There’s a lot more to having a superstar, high powered, unstoppable, kick ass confidence then simply hoping or believing it’s true. Like anything else worth having, it takes work. The confidence ladder is a hard one to climb, particularly for women, because we’ve been bombarded with messages that undermine every opportunity we have to feel fabulous about who are, just as we are.

The endless magazine ads, streams of reality shows, the non-stop makeup and weight loss ads serve to reinforce our self-doubts about our own beauty, intelligence, and value.

We’re like deer caught in the headlight afraid to make a decision or any substantial move in our life! Yes we know deep down we’re powerful, intelligent, capable, and at times able to leap a building in a single bound. But more often then not when it’s time to leap we freeze, we get stuck.

We’re pulled and paralyzed by the tension between what we want and were we’re at. For too many the tension becomes too great and instead of moving closer to our dreams, we lower our expectations or worse…give up entirely. This is why you can’t DIY confidence.

A mentor or coach can help push you when you feel like giving up on yourself and your dreams. Help you reclaim the self-love and self-acceptance needed to live your life’s purpose. Someone skilled to help you stay true to your why and engage in the reflexive activities needed to stay the course, exhale the bullshit, and achieve your goals.

If you’re struggling with F.O.G. (fear, overwhelm and guilt) it’s because you’re doing it yourself. Stop trying and let someone help you move the needle from the status quo.

DIY-ing Your Image

Do you have a Pinterest board filled with style inspirations? Are you imitating a few of your favorite bloggers style? Do you have a closet filled with nothing to wear? Would you say you have an “eclectic” style? If you answered yes to these questions you most likely have an inconsistent or inauthentic image.
Since we’re inundated with fashion and style advice I’m sure this is one you’ve utilized a few DIY tricks. As a result I’m sure there are days you’ve felt like you’ve nailed and other days…not so much. In truth everyday is like a game of charades. It feels like charades is because you haven’t done the work to align your value and goals to your image. How can these external resources or well-meaning sales clerks know how to help you when they don’t know you?
When you’re confused each morning about what to wear and why your sending a confusion message about who you are the rest of the world.  Your inconsistency leaves a poor impression and says you don’t quite have it all together. I mean to be honest on those days do you feel like you have it all together?
Don’t DIY your image. Let someone trained in image management and branding help you discover YOUR authentic style.

Next Steps

The next time you feel inspired to turn to Google, your bestie, or your own devices stop. Decide to get it right the first time instead of dealing with the frustration of false starts. I’d love to help.
If you are ready to stop trying to do it all yourself apply for a Confident Image strategy session HERE.
I reserve this time for women who are ready and serious about owning their next level of success. If  that’s you then Click Here.
Live, laugh and confidently shine!
Carol 😉

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About The Carol

I'm a 50 years young curvy fashionista enjoying my "second life." I'm a wife, mom of 3 and 1 goldendoodle. I'm a recovering attorney, accidental professor, successful jewelry stylist, and ...